January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. I think if you memorize anything here, stick with this one, it will get you out of even the toughest corners. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Buzzfeed, 14 Hilarious Comebacks That Only Took People a Few Hours to Come Up With Youtube.com , Legally Blonde (4/11) Movie CLIP First Day of School (2001) HD Remember when Captain Jack Sparrow, under threat of capture and arrest, takes a moment to deliver a devastating zinger? It looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Next time someone tries to put you down, make sure to give them a taste of their own medicine. If you need to go full stealth-mode, here are 16 compliments you dont realize are actually pretty insulting. Thanks for this informative answer! 10. First, theyll likely ask why youre wondering. It smells like something is burning, ___ are you trying to think again? RELATED:75 Best Sassy Savage Quotes For When You're In A Mood. One of the, One day in middle school my friends and I were all coincidentally wearing either pink or yellow shirts. What do I say to get them to loose any respect they ever had. But here's hoping. I would remind them that I don't need anyone's permission to talk. I'd tell them to keep their conversations to themselves if they don't want to he Please consult your doctor before taking any action. 42. WebAnswer (1 of 9): Guy: Did I ask? That was almost as painful as looking at your face. It had a picture of a falcon on it and it read, If someone asks your age, tell them what Farquart the Talking Falcon says: None of your falcon business! DAVID S. IN GEORGIA. I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse. You can sign in to vote the answer. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. This can be disarming to your attacker and it shows that their words cannot hurt you. Im sorry, I dont date guys who think that no means convince me. Youre as useful as Anne Franks drum kit. I don't know. "No one fucking asked but im a human being with an opinion and evidence to back it up, and the soldiers of the revolutionary war and the civil war and the world wars all fought so that I had the right to free speech and thus the right to state that opinion and the evidence I have even when no one fucking asked. You lips keep moving, but all I hear is "blah, blah, blah. Out of everything posted here, I think this is the most universal. Relevance. This one is total warfareonly use if peace is not an option. I only take you everywhere I go just so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information, as a newly revitalized culinary destination, An almost vegan food crawl with Theo Rossi, Emily the Criminal star and hummus traditionalist, Chicken-flavored ice cream? Ill never forget the first time we met. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. It can be disconcerting to realize that a penguin might have more refined culinary tastes than ones own. Tell me, how did this comment effect you? Dont worry about me. Add to library 7 Then you've landed in the right place! in Century City from the 1990s. 20 Something 20 Somethings 30 Somethings after dark best comebacks Burns Comebacks Comedy digs Funny genius responses Hilarious how to respond humiliate Humor Insults Jokes laugh on demand laugh out loud lol Love and Relationships Offensive One-Liners Relationships Relationships & Dating roast STFU what to say Zingers The point being of course that whatever they have asked is none of their business. The most important thing to establish when you are responding to Who asked? is that you are not going to be messed with or pushed around. 35. Oh, Im sorry, I must have mistaken you for someone who actually knows what theyre talking about. 16. Its not that the food was so good, but it did what a theme restaurant is supposed to do transport its customers to a different time or place and allow them to briefly trade real life for a fantasy life. 44. They're the best burn jokes you'll find. HA-HA-HA And I thought my jokes were bad. It started in October when Julie went through our archives and tested nine different chocolate chip cookie recipes from many sources, including Clementines Annie Miller, Sycamore Kitchens Karen Hatfield and former Times Food editor Amy Scattergood. Your support helps us deliver the news that matters most. (also from Reddit user). In general, these funny comebacks provide you with answers to all bully questions. Did I invite you to my barbecue? With a little quick thinking, you can turn it into a savage comeback. Web2 reviews of First Watch - Temp. OK, maybe a little harsh. If you were a spice, youd be flour. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility. I've been in a lot of situations where I say something and someone says "did I ask" and I don't know how to respond. Best Comebacks Ever Funny Insults And Comebacks Snappy Comebacks Clever Comebacks Funny Comebacks Savage Comebacks Comebacks Sassy Sassy Quotes Sarcastic Quotes. So next time someone tries to bring you down, make sure you hit them with a savage comeback that will leave them reeling. The lawyer tries to save face with I think we got off on the wrong foot here, and Brockovich quickly counters with Thats all you got lady, two wrong feet and ugly shoes. Save it for the next time someone is rude to you and tries to cry wrong foot. This is definitely one of those movies with the best one-liners youll want to say over and over. Im not a proctologist, but I can spot an ass when I see one. However, theres nothing wrong with spending a little time thinking of a savage comeback ahead of time. It should take three, like a Tootsie Pop. "Did you parents and friends love you, no". You could even make a joke out of it by saying something like Touch! I am hearing it for the first time and what is a bowling captain? 50. Did your mom drop you on your head when you were a baby? My apologies, how silly of me. Readers had fun suggesting answers to the delicate question How old are you? Read on: DEAR ABBY: My grandmother lived to 103. You might like: 27+ Unique Witty Comebacks for Shut Up Whats the Best Reply? Lv 4. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. "Oh my bad, am I to get your permission before I give my opinion? It looks just like a penis only smaller. And kept on laughing. WebSavage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. Did you just think of it, or have you been saving it? Here are some of the best savage replies to insults: If someone calls you a name, try to come up with a clever response that turns the tables on them. You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. It was in my business again. A young couple enjoy a flaming honey bowl at Bahooka Ribs & Grog in Rosemead. Youre like the first slice of bread in the packet, everyone touches you but no one wants you. Didnt ask. And Im here to tell you now it aint funny, its just predictable. Talk about a double whammy! I may not be perfect, but at least Im not you. He then decided the comeback was on and committed to getting in shape and getting back into the halfpipe. Im sorry, were you dropped on your head as a child? With these 51 good comebacks, you have unprecedented opportunity to hit back to the right place at the opportune time and wipe those stupid smirks off the faces of your enemies. We, Yahoo, are part of the Yahoo family of brands. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. There is no greater punisher than objectivity sometimes, you know? I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. The usage of the phrase "Younger sister". Youre twice the d*ck you were yesterday. Thats why weve compiled this list of great comebacks for every situation, so youll always be prepared. For example, if they call you stupid, you could say I may be stupid, but at least Im not ugly., If they say youre fat, you could reply Id rather be fat than ugly.. DIANNE H. IN THE SOUTH, DEAR ABBY: I think its time we stopped behaving as if getting to be a certain age, particularly as women, is something to hide. 200. One of the funniest one-liners on the Internet, if you ask me. You got me there.. Witty Comebacks That are Sure to Leave Anyone Speechless. Im worried about the whole community.. Youre as sharp as a rubber ball. Youre like the first slice of bread in the packet, everyone touches you but no one wants you. Whether its being called names, having your intelligence questioned, or being made fun of, insults can hurt. But I must admit that when I recently rewatched the Midnight Diner episode on Netflix in which a retired stripper gets nostalgic over horse mackerel, I saw the appeal. 2. You almost We recommend our users to update the browser. Why would I wait for your questions (you obviously don't know much about this)? St Johnstone manager Callum Davidson asked his players to be brave at half-time to stage a dramatic Scottish Premiership comeback at Kilmarnock. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Hoes. CLOSED "Food was good service was slow but it was also the first days they were open. I hope your day is just as pleasant as you are. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. You cant see the f*ck you in my smile, can you? The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Its the circus. Ill never forget the first time we met. Me neither. If you keep talking, Im going to assume youre in desperate need of a dictionary. RELATED:99 Sarcastic & Funny Memes About Life. Climb back in your mum and cook a little longer. Hilarious Comebacks You'll Wish You Knew Before - Reader's H*es be like, Ive been through a lot. No a lot has been through you. Another option is to simply laugh off the insult. Your secret is safe with my indifference. Youre so ugly, you couldnt even arouse suspicion. 36. Well, I would agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. I do this for some practical reasons. They are trying to deflect the question back into your court so they wont have to commit themselves one way or another or tip their hand. I had a 1. Thats an interesting point of view. 45. We got into a fight with a random girl at the park, and when we were walking away she screamed after us, What are you gonna do, strawberry lemonade?, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), 22 insults from Shakespeare that still sting to this day, funny political quotes and insults you cant help but laugh at, 11 words and phrases that used to be insultsand are now compliments, 16 compliments you dont realize are actually pretty insulting, 40 funny sayings worth committing to memory, 50 cheesy pickup lines guaranteed to get a laugh, hilarious photos that will make you laugh out loud, 21 anti-jokes you cant help but laugh at anyway, groan-worthy jokes you cant help but laugh at, funny jokes to defuse awkward situations at work, movies with the best one-liners youll want to say over and over, Do Not Sell My Personal Information CA Residents. When I first grew my hair out in high school, someone said to me: Did your barber die?, 41. 45. Is it that the senseless hollow comedy you have grown to love and adore until you mature and realise its fucking retarded is under attack by some random person on the internet? Its impossible to underestimate you. 3. Home; About WPC. 6 Answers. (Security Pacific National Bank Collection / Los Angeles Public Library). Im sorry, I didnt realize you were an expert on the subject. Yes, I know. Does your ass ever get jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. First, its more shaded from the sun, so its more comfortable on hot days. 9. Apparently, they have a vacancy in clownery they think youd be suited for. Knocks em dead every time. However, if you want to get out of a heated conversation with dignity intact, saying the right thing can make all the difference. With that said, use these comeback ideas sparingly and only in situations where you feel comfortable doing so. I would expect that to get better in time. This one might not be so universal, but whew, does Buzzfeed contributor hollisl4d528cac4 have one thatll stick in your mind. What do you think? You dont need a particularly smart comeback for this one since its. ", Sent this to my gf without reading it Im so fucked rn. First of all, dogs cant ask dumb questions like that Dylan M (@dylanmicky_d) October 17, 2017. 25. 17. One of New Zealands Prime ministers (I think it was in the 80s) once said that people who moved from New Zealand to Australia were raising the IQs in both countries. Comebacks for When Your Depression Says 'You Suck,' a white woman with blonde hair drawn in pop art style. Inflate your ego to overcompensate for it being so fragile? ", Then you just get flamed for having an outburst or a TL;DR. After all, theres nothing worse than trying to deliver a killer insult only to have it fall flat. If he was any more inbred, hed be a sandwich. Remember, words are powerful weapons, so use them wisely! We've received your submission. i love this thank you for this there is a bully at my park i am writing this all down now. 43. I mean this very sediment of people saying didnt ask to things that dont require permission to say is not only stupid but also incredibly easy to counter. Not asking the right questions is your problem, not mine. She always answered, Im old enough to have a past and young enough to have a future. She was still saying this past her 100th birthday. Overview of all the good comebacks #1. Theyre asking for you. Is your urge to reply didnt ask to things that never concerned you an egotistical thing? 27+ Unique Witty Comebacks for Shut Up Whats the Best Reply? I want to make sure I understand what an idiot youre being. Oh, you dont like being treated the way you treat me? Im not answering you, Im telling you. Sort by. I witnessed first hand as thousands of people in the country were laid off in just over a year - 10 years ago Whats a good comeback for if someone says, "Did I ask youuu?"? While some comebacks are simply witty one-liners, others require quick-thinking and sharp wit to come up with an effective response on the spot. "Did god ask for you to live, no". Im very skinny and my arms are noodles so my friend told me, You look like Steve Rogers without the serum.. Im Laurie Ochoa, general manager of L.A. Times Food, with this weeks Tasting Notes. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. You have your entire life to be a jerk. I see youre still stuck in middle school. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Bitch Im TELLING you dc if you asked or not. I heard a kid tell one of his classmates that they smell like hot dog water,' shares one Buzzfeed contributor. Actor Theo Rossi enjoys some olives at Bavel on his Middle Eastern restaurant crawl around Los Angeles. If you want to keep the giggles going, check out these hilarious photos that will make you laugh out loud. 22. Read next: 32+ Witty Comebacks for Who Asked, Did I Ask, Nobody Asked etc. "My favorite party trick is not going." 1. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This exchange happened accidentally between me and my boyfriend the other day and its been legendary for us ever since: After making an honest mistake he said, Sorry Im an idiot. And I, wanting to reassure him but failing miserably, replied, Dont be sorry for who you are! Perhaps you should eat make-up to look good on the inside as well. or ask "Is there a law that says asking first gives you some bargaining rights? So stfu. 199. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Web"No one fucking asked but im a human being with an opinion and evidence to back it up, and the soldiers of the revolutionary war and the civil war and the world wars all fought so that January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. 42. Why on Earth would you consider roasting someone who says hi?? That's really strange. If you never want to meet people or have any friends, that's Insult: I think you are beginning to show high levels of stupidity. Get your answers by asking now. When shes not writing articles about useful facts and pop culture, you can find Erin enjoying the local theater scene and working toward her goal of reading 50 books a year. Unless your name is Google, dont act like you know everything. His arresting officer claims You are without a doubt the worst pirate Ive ever heard of. Ah, replies Sparrow, But you have heard of me. There is no comeback like one that tosses your opponents words back at them! In fact, here are 21 anti-jokes you cant help but laugh at anyway. 23 Perfect Sassy Comebacks You Need In Your Life. 17 Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist and Leave Them Speechless! You're fucking dead, kiddo.. Harrison ruled when it came to good comebacks in her writing. You may not be the dumbest person on Earth, but you better hope he doesnt die. RELATED:30 Perfect Comebacks To Use When Someone Calls You Fat. Given the frequency of mock-sorrys in verbal squabbles, dont be sorry for who you are is definitely one to keep in your pocket. You keep thinking to yourself, "Why didn't I say that!?" Yes, I'm saying your date is a blow-up doll. 39. It's totally frustrating after an argument to finally think of a great thing you could have said during the fight. Hi! Laugh like a maniac and shut jerks up with these really funny comebacks and insults. James Michener and Thor Heyerdahl cashed in on 50s tiki-mania; so did Trader Vic and Don the Beachcomber.. 18. Read next: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. If you can, it may be best to just try and walk away from the situation. You might enjoy: 27+ of the Best Comebacks for Shut Up. Of course I didnt come here to insult you I dont need to be NEAR you to insult you. Take a page from Don Drapers book. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Im an acquired taste. Unfortunately, thinking of the perfect comeback in the moment can be tough. Now that you mention it, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too. And I know what you're going to say right after I finish sending this hammer of logic straight to your senses, you miserable little fucktwat, you're going to say "who tf asked?" Some babies were dropped on their heads, but you were clearly thrown against a wall. Be ready. As they spent the evening eating at downtown L.A.s Bavel, Open Sesame on Beverly Boulevard and Sunnin Lebanese Cafe on Westwood Boulevard, we learn that Rossi, as Jenn writes, ate a lot of pita bread and hummus while preparing for the role of a lovable Lebanese criminal who dabbles in credit card fraud. Indeed, he eats hummus nearly every day and has strong opinions on the subject. "Here's another unsolicited fact: Most dumb people don't even know they're dumb.". >:), I can tell you these wouldnt work too well. Use this comeback if someone says something mean to you. You cant be a d*ck simply because you have one. 29. Feel free to keep your mouth shut instead. Why not take today off? Tread carefully with this one, friends! but did they ask..? 2. whats a good comeback when someone says "i asked you first"? 47. Well, I experience this almost everyday, caused by my younger brother. She would say to anyone inquiring, Ill excuse you for asking, if youll excuse me for not answering. JANE M. IN FLORIDA. And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its better for you to not use it. This story has been shared 104,824 times. ", "So you should be prepared to answer first too - You should never ask a question you aren't willing to answer yourself". 37. How do you think about the answers? So if I typed jerk into Google, would your picture come up? Luckily, I have compiled a short list of all the things I could say, if he annoys me. I'll keep trying though. You can change your choices at any time by clicking on the 'Privacy dashboard' links on our sites and apps. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. This one is a little stealthy. Proceed with caution and be sure to carry a mic with you when using these, because you'll definitely need to drop it after. Me: Singing along to Fleetwood Mac. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. Anyone agree? We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. "The older I get the less surprised I think I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day." (Stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. Some cultures talk about money and how much they earn as a matter of national pride. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. Have you ever experienced a loss of words when someone says something? That must suck. Funny comebacks dont always fit into not-so-funny situations. 41. And yet your ignorance still demanded an answer, amazing! and the immediately talk to somebody else without giving them time to respond to it. I hope your fingers change into fishing hooks, and you get an itch in your balls. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Regardless of their form, mean comebacks are a great way to stand up for yourself and put someone in their place. Flaming tiki drinks, the ultimate crowd-sourced chocolate chip cookie recipe, a celebrity hummus crawl, If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. 5. this is for my brother who never shuts up and i just wanna make him feel stupid. Take a look at these awesome comebacks for bullies! The next time someone tries to put you down, try one of these savage comebacks: Savage comebacks are a great way to shut down someone who is trying to bring you down. Charred pork pho at Pho 87, a Chinatown staple since 1987. I want to fight the city, fight the gas company, because this is impossible, said owner Tre Dinh.